I got in touch with JW when I was 17. I started to study the bible with them and fell deep into the religious stuff they offered. I have no real explanations why that happened, young, ignorant, a real teenager. All that and maybe something else caused me to become a fanatic JW. I started out real good, and dropped back really soon. I wasn't really happy as a JW, I was constantly being criticized for going to college, the elders said many times that the university was full of bad association and it would ruin my faith. They were partly right, I study history and history is full of religious organizations, and the sociologic impact they have. I began to view the Watchtower with a lot of criticism, which was not appreciated by the elders.

And then, when I was 23, I got a part time job as a bookkeeper (still in college.) It was fun working there, especially since there was this man, who started flirting with me. Imagine; a witness not married, so not allowed to have sex, and then this man comes along who makes it very clear he wants to hit the sack with you. I felt really guilty for having the same feelings towards him, especially since he was married. Full of guilt and doubts about my faith, I went to the elders. Yes, I turned myself in. I got two elders at my home, where they rebuked me and told me I was being immoral. That put me straight for about one week. But I didn't believe anymore and so I decided not to obey the rules... I stopped attending meetings. Then, got really drunk one evening, where by the way nothing happened, and two days later I got a call from an elder. He asked me how I was doing, and I said fine, never better. Funny thing is, I truly felt like that, I had decided for myself not to let their rules, rule me anymore, and I felt free. And naturally, I told the elders... One week later I was asked to attend an judicial hearing committee, where it was decided I was to be disfellowshipped. Funny thing is, I hadn't even slept with the man... But I was glad it was over, my faith was nonexistent and I was tired of pretending, now I could openly say I didn't believe in anything the slave had said.

Well, hope this is any good for your site!
Viv.